Talk:Getting Started with Alice: Chapter One

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That opening para is terrible! Look at this:

It all started on a hot sunny day in April; I was lying in the back yard as I usually do, sunbathing in the nude and reading an exotic novel, which was getting me somewhat aroused.

It should of course be EROTIC

Alice, my Mother-in-law, usually doesn’t come into the back yard when I sun bathe, but Mary was gone, so she thought that as long as Mary wasn’t there, It would be Ok.

Why doesn't she come into the backyard "when Mary is gone"? and why does she now - just to "water the flowers"? Rubbish! she has come to get a good look at her son-in-law's dick! And how does he know that Alice is thinking "as long as Mary wasn't there"?

Mary is my wife and Alice’s daughter. Of course she is!

As Alice walked by my chair, to water the flowers, she playfully pulled on my big toe.

The beginning of the story needs to get folk interested in what is going on - this one is full of inconsistences. Pglen 01:24, 11 April 2007 (EDT)

REWRITING

I have begun on the rwrite, but think there should be the chance of making this story into chapters. I will do that next time i am here Pglen 04:02, 11 April 2007 (EDT)

I am the original author.

The original title eight years ago was "Getting Started With Mother" and the story is based on some true life experiences I had with my mother in law and my grand-daughter. I am enjoying the rewrites. If anyone is interested in an original copy of the story I will send them on.

Alvin Leader